1
00:00:22,895 --> 00:00:24,631
What--what is this?

2
00:00:24,631 --> 00:00:27,967
It's a present.
I made it for you.

3
00:00:31,404 --> 00:00:32,771
Oh.

4
00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,743
I know it doesn't
look like much,

5
00:00:36,743 --> 00:00:39,311
but I wanted to surprise you.

6
00:00:39,311 --> 00:00:41,247
A surprise for what?

7
00:00:41,247 --> 00:00:45,852
Well, do you mind telling me
what day it is, Chip?

8
00:00:45,852 --> 00:00:48,554
It's the 10th day
of December.

9
00:00:48,554 --> 00:00:52,291
Oh, shoot.
We missed it.

10
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:55,795
- We missed what?
- Nothing. Forget it.

11
00:00:55,795 --> 00:00:57,596
No, no, wait.
Dory, please, please tell me.

12
00:00:57,596 --> 00:00:59,065
What did we miss?
Please?

13
00:00:59,065 --> 00:01:02,101
It's silly.
It's just...

14
00:01:02,101 --> 00:01:04,103
our three month
friend-iversary.

15
00:01:04,103 --> 00:01:06,072
I thought it would be nice
to celebrate the day

16
00:01:06,072 --> 00:01:08,941
that I arrived here by doing
something special like--

17
00:01:08,941 --> 00:01:11,443
like a dinner together
or something.

18
00:01:11,443 --> 00:01:14,380
But... we missed it, so...

19
00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:18,250
It's okay, we can just
celebrate it next year.

20
00:01:20,086 --> 00:01:22,688
Fuck!
Idiot!

21
00:01:23,856 --> 00:01:25,692
Oh, well.

22
00:01:25,692 --> 00:01:26,959
We can just do it now.

23
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:28,560
- Yeah?
- Yeah!

24
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:29,729
- Okay--
- Wait, don't eat this.

25
00:01:29,729 --> 00:01:30,963
I'm gonna make
something special.

26
00:01:30,963 --> 00:01:32,665
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.

27
00:01:32,665 --> 00:01:34,266
Dory, I'm so happy

28
00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:36,603
that you're finally
acknowledging we're friends.

29
00:01:36,603 --> 00:01:37,937
Me too.

30
00:01:37,937 --> 00:01:39,772
- Ugh!

31
00:01:39,772 --> 00:01:41,874
I'm so lucky.

32
00:01:46,045 --> 00:01:50,983
<i>♪ Oh, but dear,
the sky is low, watch ♪</i>

33
00:01:50,983 --> 00:01:54,854
<i>♪ Fluent sea men
rig their rudders so ♪</i>

34
00:01:54,854 --> 00:01:56,389
both: Amen.

35
00:01:57,490 --> 00:01:59,491
What did you pray for
today, Charlie?

36
00:01:59,491 --> 00:02:03,663
I prayed for my makeup
artist, Missy Winebasket.

37
00:02:03,663 --> 00:02:06,165
I overheard Missy on the phone
with her mommy

38
00:02:06,165 --> 00:02:09,402
that she was at the Midtown
Women's March this weekend.

39
00:02:10,636 --> 00:02:12,038
I pray for you, Missy,

40
00:02:12,038 --> 00:02:13,873
and I pray for
all the women out there

41
00:02:13,873 --> 00:02:16,375
who claim to be "feminists"
when they're really just

42
00:02:16,375 --> 00:02:18,811
man-hating, handout-hungry
witches

43
00:02:18,811 --> 00:02:21,080
who come together to wear
hideous pink hats

44
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,450
and to cast spells on women
like me with differing beliefs

45
00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:25,818
all in the name of a movement

46
00:02:25,818 --> 00:02:27,887
that's been irrelevant
since 1920.

47
00:02:27,887 --> 00:02:29,856
What did you pray for?
- Thank you, Charlie.

48
00:02:29,856 --> 00:02:31,223
That was beautiful,
first of all.

49
00:02:31,223 --> 00:02:32,291
Mm-hmm.

50
00:02:32,291 --> 00:02:35,094
Today, I pray
for a gay restaurant

51
00:02:35,094 --> 00:02:37,730
that I was booed
out of this morning.

52
00:02:37,730 --> 00:02:39,465
Yeah.

53
00:02:39,465 --> 00:02:41,601
Okay, I just wanna say and
get this on the record finally.

54
00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:43,670
I hate gay people.

55
00:02:43,670 --> 00:02:44,971
And I'm allowed to hate myself.

56
00:02:44,971 --> 00:02:46,706
It's actually
in the Constitution.

57
00:02:46,706 --> 00:02:48,975
Do I think gay people
should exist? No.

58
00:02:48,975 --> 00:02:52,378
Do I think I should exist?
Absolutely not, okay?

59
00:02:52,378 --> 00:02:55,081
And I do not have a problem
in being a vocal advocate

60
00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:57,850
in violently dismantling
gay rights, okay?

61
00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,819
No more workplace protections.

62
00:02:59,819 --> 00:03:01,988
No more, people.
No more marriage.

63
00:03:01,988 --> 00:03:04,991
I can't believe that
I almost got gay married.

64
00:03:04,991 --> 00:03:07,159
Yeah, me.
True life, okay?

65
00:03:07,159 --> 00:03:09,261
You know what happens
when you get gay married?

66
00:03:09,261 --> 00:03:10,830
People die.

67
00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:13,666
A caterer was hit by a car
at my wedding.

68
00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:15,702
A car that a lesbian
was driving.

69
00:03:15,702 --> 00:03:17,336
So... psh.
So yeah.

70
00:03:17,336 --> 00:03:20,106
My prayer today is that
there is a gay gene

71
00:03:20,106 --> 00:03:22,308
and that scientists
can find it,

72
00:03:22,308 --> 00:03:24,243
isolate it, and kill it.

73
00:03:24,243 --> 00:03:25,845
Thank you.

74
00:03:25,845 --> 00:03:27,880
Great prayer.

75
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:33,152
This china was a gift
to my Aunt Lylah from JFK.

76
00:03:36,288 --> 00:03:37,990
No silverware?

77
00:03:37,990 --> 00:03:40,960
No, no silverware,
just the beautiful china.

78
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,262
Forgive me for not being
able to trust you

79
00:03:43,262 --> 00:03:47,800
around sharp objects,
but you made your bed.

80
00:03:53,773 --> 00:03:57,009
- Hey, you're sulking.
- Oh.

81
00:03:57,009 --> 00:03:58,811
- Isn't this what you wanted?
- I'm sorry.

82
00:03:58,811 --> 00:04:02,081
This all looks so beautiful.
- Thank you.

83
00:04:02,081 --> 00:04:06,352
And I just wish that
I felt beautiful too.

84
00:04:06,352 --> 00:04:09,255
Oh, you look great.
You look great the way you are.

85
00:04:09,255 --> 00:04:13,860
No, I just--
I wanna look nice, you know?

86
00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:17,096
Like, put on a fancy dress

87
00:04:17,096 --> 00:04:22,368
or, I don't know,
take a shower.

88
00:04:27,306 --> 00:04:30,276
- Well, I can get you a dress.
- Yeah?

89
00:04:30,276 --> 00:04:32,745
Yeah, I think Aunt Lylah
has just the right one.

90
00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:34,313
- Okay, yeah, I mean--
- Yeah.

91
00:04:34,313 --> 00:04:35,982
Yeah, a dress would be--
a dress would be great.

92
00:04:35,982 --> 00:04:37,583
It should fit you
just perfectly.

93
00:04:48,161 --> 00:04:50,429
Oh, the teeth!
That counts, that counts.

94
00:04:50,429 --> 00:04:52,932
No, no, no.
If it's teeth, I get a point.

95
00:04:52,932 --> 00:04:54,601
No!

96
00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:56,869
Boys, I'm sorry.

97
00:04:56,869 --> 00:04:59,271
But can Andrew and I
have a moment?

98
00:04:59,271 --> 00:05:02,374
Ooh, I don't like that tone.

99
00:05:02,374 --> 00:05:05,044
Well, why do I
have to leave?

100
00:05:05,044 --> 00:05:07,213
- I--

101
00:05:07,213 --> 00:05:08,414
Please?

102
00:05:08,414 --> 00:05:11,383
People take advantage of me.
Always have.

103
00:05:13,686 --> 00:05:16,922
Hey, what's going on?

104
00:05:18,224 --> 00:05:20,627
Well, I don't know
how to say this,

105
00:05:20,627 --> 00:05:23,362
but I Googled you.

106
00:05:23,362 --> 00:05:25,732
And after a few dozen
Andrew Gardners come up,

107
00:05:25,732 --> 00:05:28,167
you start to see Drew Gardner,

108
00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:30,637
and I learned that you're
not from South Africa.

109
00:05:30,637 --> 00:05:32,739
You were born in Chicago.

110
00:05:32,739 --> 00:05:34,807
And that...

111
00:05:34,807 --> 00:05:36,209
You need glasses.

112
00:05:37,143 --> 00:05:41,080
And I learned
a few other things.

113
00:05:44,083 --> 00:05:47,053
Um, is this about
my murder trial?

114
00:05:47,053 --> 00:05:49,488
- Okay, okay--

115
00:05:49,488 --> 00:05:51,858
So what it says is true?

116
00:05:51,858 --> 00:05:54,326
- Hey, look, I--
- No, no, no, no, no.

117
00:05:54,326 --> 00:05:55,628
Hey, hey, hey.

118
00:05:55,628 --> 00:05:58,464
I'm so, so sorry I didn't
tell you about it, okay?

119
00:05:58,464 --> 00:06:04,704
It's just I came here to
put that life behind me, okay?

120
00:06:04,704 --> 00:06:06,005
And that's not who I am.

121
00:06:06,005 --> 00:06:08,274
I mean, it is.
Yeah, it is, it's--

122
00:06:08,274 --> 00:06:11,377
I don't want it
to be anymore, okay?

123
00:06:11,377 --> 00:06:15,682
And I like it here because
none of that stuff exists.

124
00:06:15,682 --> 00:06:18,417
I could sit here
and I could just lie to you

125
00:06:18,417 --> 00:06:22,088
about my past, but I don't
wanna do that to you, okay?

126
00:06:22,088 --> 00:06:27,126
So ask me anything and--
and I'll tell you the truth.

127
00:06:27,126 --> 00:06:30,296
Whatever you wanna know,
just ask.

128
00:06:30,296 --> 00:06:31,864
- Okay.
- Okay?

129
00:06:35,101 --> 00:06:37,670
Oh, my God.

130
00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:39,739
Oh, you look so beautiful.

131
00:06:39,739 --> 00:06:41,273
- Really?
- Oh.

132
00:06:41,273 --> 00:06:43,943
Do you feel better?
- Mm-hmm.

133
00:06:43,943 --> 00:06:47,079
Well, dinner is served.

134
00:06:47,079 --> 00:06:49,248
Oh, okay.

135
00:06:50,316 --> 00:06:51,718
Oh, wow.

136
00:06:51,718 --> 00:06:53,652
It looks so good.

137
00:06:54,887 --> 00:06:56,455
Happy friend-iversary.

138
00:06:57,656 --> 00:07:00,627
Happy friend-iversary.

139
00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:19,278
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

140
00:07:19,278 --> 00:07:22,014
No, no, no, come on!
It's a food fight.

141
00:07:22,014 --> 00:07:23,750
Every friendship
has a food fight.

142
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,151
Didn't you know that?

143
00:07:26,252 --> 00:07:28,020
Wait, really?

144
00:07:28,020 --> 00:07:31,457
Oh, my God!

145
00:07:33,425 --> 00:07:35,728
Oh, come on.
You can do better than that.

146
00:07:56,049 --> 00:07:58,985
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
you win, you win!

147
00:07:58,985 --> 00:08:01,520
Yeah!

148
00:08:05,692 --> 00:08:08,394
Oh, no.

149
00:08:08,394 --> 00:08:12,999
Chip, you got too carried away.

150
00:08:12,999 --> 00:08:17,303
But--but... food fight.

151
00:08:17,303 --> 00:08:20,039
I mean, I gonna have to get
cleaned up.

152
00:08:20,039 --> 00:08:23,710
I can't eat like this.

153
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:26,712
I really wish you had
controlled yourself, Chip.

154
00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:29,482
Oh.

155
00:08:30,116 --> 00:08:33,119
What are we gonna do now?

156
00:08:35,354 --> 00:08:39,191
You know,
I actually invented

157
00:08:39,191 --> 00:08:42,561
a very powerful stain remover
six years ago.

158
00:08:42,561 --> 00:08:44,864
I didn't even mean to.
I was just messing around

159
00:08:44,864 --> 00:08:50,336
with some chemicals to remind
myself of my time at MIT.

160
00:08:50,336 --> 00:08:52,071
That's amazing, Chip.

161
00:08:52,071 --> 00:08:54,273
Well, that's not
the amazing part.

162
00:08:54,273 --> 00:08:57,509
The amazing part
is a laboratory

163
00:08:57,509 --> 00:09:00,512
got their hands on it,
and they discovered

164
00:09:00,512 --> 00:09:03,783
that it is as close
to a cure for lupus

165
00:09:03,783 --> 00:09:05,151
that we presently have.

166
00:09:05,151 --> 00:09:06,252
Can you believe that?

167
00:09:06,252 --> 00:09:08,054
I didn't mean to invent

168
00:09:08,054 --> 00:09:10,657
a stain remover
or a cure for lupus,

169
00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:14,661
let alone a stain remover that
would become a cure for lupus.

170
00:09:14,661 --> 00:09:16,362
So you see what I mean
about having

171
00:09:16,362 --> 00:09:18,464
too many options in my life?

172
00:09:18,464 --> 00:09:20,199
I mean, if I succeed
at everything,

173
00:09:20,199 --> 00:09:23,169
how am I supposed to choose?

174
00:09:23,169 --> 00:09:25,504
- Chip?
- Yeah?

175
00:09:25,504 --> 00:09:27,807
Would--would you
sing me something?

176
00:09:27,807 --> 00:09:30,943
Of course. Um...

177
00:09:30,943 --> 00:09:33,212
Okay--two, three, four.

178
00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:37,149
♪ The chills that you spill
up my back keep me filled ♪

179
00:09:37,149 --> 00:09:38,851
♪ With satisfaction
when we're done ♪

180
00:09:38,851 --> 00:09:42,354
♪ Satisfaction
of what's to come ♪

181
00:09:42,354 --> 00:09:45,792
♪ No, I wouldn't ask
for another ♪

182
00:09:45,792 --> 00:09:48,594
Pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pew!

183
00:09:48,594 --> 00:09:49,796
No!

184
00:09:49,796 --> 00:09:53,733
♪ No, I couldn't ask
for another ♪

185
00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:56,235
♪ Your groove
I do deeply dig ♪

186
00:09:56,235 --> 00:09:58,638
<i>♪ No walls, only the bridge ♪</i>

187
00:09:58,638 --> 00:10:02,809
<i>♪ My supper dish,
my succotash wish ♪</i>

188
00:10:02,809 --> 00:10:07,980
No, I couldn't ask
for another ♪

189
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:12,318
Pew!

190
00:10:12,318 --> 00:10:17,456
No, I couldn't ask
for another ♪

191
00:10:17,456 --> 00:10:19,158
- What are you doing?

192
00:10:20,292 --> 00:10:21,828
Stop it!
What--

193
00:10:25,164 --> 00:10:27,366
Dory!
What are you doing?

194
00:10:27,366 --> 00:10:30,136
Unlock the door, Dory!

195
00:10:30,136 --> 00:10:32,471
Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory!

196
00:10:32,471 --> 00:10:35,507
Fuck!

197
00:10:35,507 --> 00:10:39,311
Hey, what are you
doing in there?

198
00:10:40,913 --> 00:10:43,182
Oh, my God--

199
00:10:44,651 --> 00:10:47,019
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck!

200
00:10:47,019 --> 00:10:48,888
Motherfuck--

201
00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:51,357
Dory!
Oh, my God!

202
00:10:51,357 --> 00:10:55,728
I am--I'm not bad.
I know--I know you're scared.

203
00:10:56,696 --> 00:10:59,498
If you just like me better,

204
00:10:59,498 --> 00:11:01,968
you'll feel like
a good friend!

205
00:11:14,047 --> 00:11:16,148
Oh!

206
00:11:16,148 --> 00:11:18,117
Hi, Lylah?

207
00:11:18,117 --> 00:11:20,653
It's your neighbor, Paula Jo.

208
00:11:20,653 --> 00:11:21,854
Fuck.

209
00:11:21,854 --> 00:11:23,122
Was that you who just

210
00:11:23,122 --> 00:11:26,325
slammed the door in my face?

211
00:11:26,325 --> 00:11:29,696
We haven't formally met,
but I've been decorating

212
00:11:29,696 --> 00:11:32,264
this house
for Christmas every year.

213
00:11:32,264 --> 00:11:33,833
Shut up!

214
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:35,602
I saw the car out
in the driveway and I thought,

215
00:11:35,602 --> 00:11:38,705
"Well, that must
be the elusive Lylah!"

216
00:11:38,705 --> 00:11:41,741
Yes, it's me. Um...

217
00:11:41,741 --> 00:11:45,678
Hi, I--I'm--you caught me
at a really bad time, darling.

218
00:11:45,678 --> 00:11:49,048
I-I'm just about
to rush out the door.

219
00:11:49,048 --> 00:11:51,583
I know you're in a hurry,
but I'm here now

220
00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:54,253
and this works for me,
so if we could just do

221
00:11:54,253 --> 00:11:55,955
a real quick walk
around the house

222
00:11:55,955 --> 00:11:59,225
and take a look at where it
might be just fantastic

223
00:11:59,225 --> 00:12:01,193
for you to decorate.

224
00:12:01,193 --> 00:12:02,528
Fuck!

225
00:12:02,528 --> 00:12:06,298
Yeah, great!
Just hold on one minute!

226
00:12:06,298 --> 00:12:09,135
Um...

227
00:12:09,135 --> 00:12:11,871
Oh.

228
00:12:13,239 --> 00:12:17,810
I just have to put the cats
into the other room.

229
00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:21,047
Otherwise, they'll just
rush right out the door,

230
00:12:21,047 --> 00:12:24,050
and we do not wanna
spend the afternoon

231
00:12:24,050 --> 00:12:25,952
chasing cats, now, do we?

232
00:12:25,952 --> 00:12:27,219
No.

233
00:12:27,219 --> 00:12:29,555
So just let me
grab them here.

234
00:12:29,555 --> 00:12:31,023
Come on, Buttercup.

235
00:12:31,023 --> 00:12:34,426
Okay, I'm nearly done
putting away the cats.

236
00:12:34,426 --> 00:12:37,363
Good, because it's
very cold out here,

237
00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:39,732
and these muffins
are really heavy.

238
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,012
Hi--oh, thank you
for the muffins.

239
00:12:53,012 --> 00:12:56,315
I wish I had time to do
all the things you want,

240
00:12:56,315 --> 00:13:02,922
but I-I have to be in town
to go celebrate some shoes.

241
00:13:02,922 --> 00:13:06,292
They won the--they won
the award for best shoes.

242
00:13:06,292 --> 00:13:10,797
So, um, go run along,
and let's do this another time.

243
00:13:10,797 --> 00:13:14,400
Oh, of course.
I understand you're very busy.

244
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,369
But I sent you an email
four years ago,

245
00:13:17,369 --> 00:13:20,006
and I got
an out-of-office reply,

246
00:13:20,006 --> 00:13:23,375
and this house is on
the Christmas Festivity Route,

247
00:13:23,375 --> 00:13:26,578
and I am on the board
of the Holiday Society,

248
00:13:26,578 --> 00:13:28,848
so I've just been taking it
upon myself

249
00:13:28,848 --> 00:13:31,417
to decorate this house
for you every year

250
00:13:31,417 --> 00:13:33,986
because of your glaring absence
in our community.

251
00:13:33,986 --> 00:13:35,622
Great, thank you
for doing that.

252
00:13:35,622 --> 00:13:38,524
But you're home,
which is wonderful!

253
00:13:38,524 --> 00:13:41,527
And now that I have you here,
I have to ask,

254
00:13:41,527 --> 00:13:43,763
are you planning on decorating?

255
00:13:43,763 --> 00:13:46,966
Because I'm happy
to do it again for you.

256
00:13:46,966 --> 00:13:48,868
Ugh, you know what?

257
00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:51,738
If it really means
so much to you,

258
00:13:51,738 --> 00:13:55,407
I would be happy to make
the time in between my 11 jobs

259
00:13:55,407 --> 00:13:56,709
and hundreds and hundreds

260
00:13:56,709 --> 00:13:58,210
and hundreds
of doctor's appointments.

261
00:13:58,210 --> 00:14:01,080
Thank you for thinking
that you should stop by.

262
00:14:18,164 --> 00:14:21,267
Where the fuck...

263
00:14:25,804 --> 00:14:28,808
Okay.
Okay.

264
00:14:28,808 --> 00:14:30,043
All right.

265
00:14:36,816 --> 00:14:38,951
Hello?

266
00:14:38,951 --> 00:14:40,519
Help!

267
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,089
Hello?

268
00:14:47,526 --> 00:14:49,028
Fuck!

269
00:15:03,676 --> 00:15:06,879
- Wow.
- Yeah.

270
00:15:06,879 --> 00:15:09,448
How did you get hired here?

271
00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:14,020
They put me in a program
called Cheer Watch,

272
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:15,888
and I basically have to
fill out a bunch

273
00:15:15,888 --> 00:15:18,057
of extra weekly reports,
and they pay me

274
00:15:18,057 --> 00:15:21,060
about half as much
as they pay you guys.

275
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:22,729
Please don't tell
anyone that, okay?

276
00:15:22,729 --> 00:15:25,064
It's so embarrassing.
- I would never.

277
00:15:25,064 --> 00:15:27,566
I believe that everyone, everywhere,

278
00:15:27,566 --> 00:15:29,602
no matter what they've done,

279
00:15:29,602 --> 00:15:32,471
deserves the chance
to be happy.

280
00:15:34,473 --> 00:15:36,743
Thanks.

281
00:15:36,743 --> 00:15:39,478
Since you shared all that,

282
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:41,280
I wanna share
something with you.

283
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,783
Yes, yes, please, please.

284
00:15:43,783 --> 00:15:46,986
I never tell anyone this.

285
00:15:46,986 --> 00:15:49,188
It's where all my pain
comes from.

286
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:52,725
But when I was 12,
I was babysitting

287
00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:55,662
for the mayor's niece, and I
decided to leave the house

288
00:15:55,662 --> 00:15:57,363
to go get a popsicle
because they didn't

289
00:15:57,363 --> 00:15:59,298
ever have them at their house.

290
00:15:59,298 --> 00:16:00,700
Yeah.

291
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:04,103
So I took the baby with me
to the gas station,

292
00:16:04,103 --> 00:16:06,572
and I was paranoid
about being gone too long,

293
00:16:06,572 --> 00:16:07,974
so I wore my roller skates

294
00:16:07,974 --> 00:16:10,076
to get there and back faster, and...

295
00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:14,981
I was skating too fast.

296
00:16:14,981 --> 00:16:16,082
Uh-huh.

297
00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:20,586
And I tripped on a rock,
and the baby went flying,

298
00:16:20,586 --> 00:16:23,522
and it flew perfectly
into a gutter,

299
00:16:23,522 --> 00:16:27,060
like, where the street
meets the curb.

300
00:16:28,627 --> 00:16:30,096
It didn't even hit
the edges of the gutter.

301
00:16:30,096 --> 00:16:34,233
It just flew right into
the hole like a perfect shot,

302
00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:36,402
and I heard it splash.

303
00:16:36,402 --> 00:16:38,737
Oh, no.

304
00:16:41,207 --> 00:16:43,743
I was a pariah.

305
00:16:43,743 --> 00:16:45,444
I was a monster.

306
00:16:47,246 --> 00:16:50,316
I can't deny what I did.
I did what I did.

307
00:16:52,918 --> 00:16:55,187
But I choose to be happy.

308
00:16:57,223 --> 00:16:59,726
Hey.

309
00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:02,461
I'm so sorry that
that happened to you.

310
00:17:02,461 --> 00:17:05,064
It's okay. I'm happy.

311
00:17:06,398 --> 00:17:08,868
I'm in Merry Merry Land.
- Yeah.

312
00:17:08,868 --> 00:17:12,038
How could I
not be happy here?

313
00:17:12,038 --> 00:17:13,640
Okay.

314
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,742
We've both told each other
the worst things.

315
00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:17,644
- Yeah.
- That's it.

316
00:17:17,644 --> 00:17:19,311
No more lying.

317
00:17:19,311 --> 00:17:22,348
Yes, no more lying.

318
00:17:22,348 --> 00:17:24,250
I promise.

319
00:17:44,203 --> 00:17:45,704
Hello?

320
00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:51,144
Is anyone here?

321
00:18:29,048 --> 00:18:30,382
Hello?

322
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:32,918
Hello?

323
00:18:34,587 --> 00:18:35,821
Hello?

324
00:18:38,757 --> 00:18:40,293
<i>Fuck you.</i>

325
00:18:41,327 --> 00:18:43,095
Hello?

326
00:18:43,095 --> 00:18:45,397
<i>Fuck you!
Fuck you!</i>

327
00:18:45,397 --> 00:18:48,300
Wh--where--are you--

328
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:50,336
is this a child?

329
00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:53,072
<i>Fuck you!
Fuck you, fuck you!</i>

330
00:18:53,072 --> 00:18:57,443
Wait, I--can I talk to
your mom or your dad, please?

331
00:18:57,443 --> 00:18:59,545
Are there any adults around?

332
00:19:02,649 --> 00:19:04,583
<i>Fuck you!
Bye, stupid.</i>

333
00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:06,886
No, wait, wait!
Wait, hello?

334
00:19:06,886 --> 00:19:09,422
Hello?
Hello?

335
00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:19,331
How much do you love
this look for the brunch scene?

336
00:19:19,331 --> 00:19:24,737
I mean, so indie, so vintage,
so Dory, right?

337
00:19:24,737 --> 00:19:27,774
Yeah, it's cute.
I feel really bad.

338
00:19:27,774 --> 00:19:29,776
I don't wanna, like,
step on your toes, you know?

339
00:19:29,776 --> 00:19:32,679
This is your art,
and like, I, you know,

340
00:19:32,679 --> 00:19:34,080
I just don't feel good in this,

341
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,381
and I kind of feel
like a ghost.

342
00:19:35,381 --> 00:19:37,283
Portia.
Lassie Kazaar, the director.

343
00:19:37,283 --> 00:19:39,085
Oh, my gosh!
Hi!

344
00:19:39,085 --> 00:19:41,187
It's so nice to meet you.
I'm sorry, I'm a hugger.

345
00:19:41,187 --> 00:19:43,890
I'm not.
So let's have a chat.

346
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:45,792
Can you excuse us?
- Of course.

347
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:46,959
- Okay.
- Bye.

348
00:19:46,959 --> 00:19:48,695
He's--he's, you know, incredible.

349
00:19:48,695 --> 00:19:50,496
I love all my op--

350
00:19:50,496 --> 00:19:51,898
- Okay.

351
00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:53,232
So how are you feeling?

352
00:19:53,232 --> 00:19:54,967
This is kind of
a big departure for you.

353
00:19:54,967 --> 00:19:56,669
Yeah, I feel great, honestly.

354
00:19:56,669 --> 00:19:59,471
Like, I feel inspired
and excited,

355
00:19:59,471 --> 00:20:01,974
and I feel like I'm born to
play this part in a weird way,

356
00:20:01,974 --> 00:20:03,710
'cause it's, like,
who better to play Dory

357
00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:05,344
than her best friend,
you know what I mean?

358
00:20:05,344 --> 00:20:07,246
Okay, well,
I just wanted to check in

359
00:20:07,246 --> 00:20:09,548
and see if you have any
questions about the character.

360
00:20:09,548 --> 00:20:11,083
I do, actually.

361
00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:12,919
On the page,
she's written, like,

362
00:20:12,919 --> 00:20:14,486
kind of harsh,
do you know what I mean?

363
00:20:14,486 --> 00:20:17,023
And I wanna make sure
that I add softness to her

364
00:20:17,023 --> 00:20:19,391
because Dor wasn't all bad,
you know?

365
00:20:19,391 --> 00:20:22,128
And then I'm also, like--
is it too late to possibly

366
00:20:22,128 --> 00:20:24,096
rewrite the scene where,
you know,

367
00:20:24,096 --> 00:20:25,932
she takes that cigarette
and she puts it out

368
00:20:25,932 --> 00:20:27,934
on that little baby squirrel?

369
00:20:27,934 --> 00:20:31,137
I just feel like
she wouldn't burn an animal.

370
00:20:31,137 --> 00:20:32,805
I understand it might
not have really happened.

371
00:20:32,805 --> 00:20:34,240
- Mm-hmm.
- I know, it doesn't matter.

372
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,008
- Okay.
- When you're telling a story,

373
00:20:36,008 --> 00:20:37,777
you have to step things out
for the audience.

374
00:20:37,777 --> 00:20:39,646
Right, which is--
that just--

375
00:20:39,646 --> 00:20:41,047
that's not truth.

376
00:20:41,047 --> 00:20:42,882
That's fake.
That didn't happen.

377
00:20:42,882 --> 00:20:45,618
Did you see my last movie,
"Einstein in Miami"?

378
00:20:45,618 --> 00:20:47,453
I didn't see it.

379
00:20:47,453 --> 00:20:48,955
Oh.

380
00:20:48,955 --> 00:20:51,057
Oh, okay, I thought you--
you're not kidding.

381
00:20:51,057 --> 00:20:52,625
- No.
- Okay, that's crazy.

382
00:20:52,625 --> 00:20:54,126
Well...

383
00:20:54,126 --> 00:20:57,630
People saw it and loved it.
A lot of people.

384
00:20:57,630 --> 00:21:01,467
But what they also loved
is seeing Einstein be in Miami.

385
00:21:01,467 --> 00:21:03,803
Guess what.
He never stepped foot in Miami.

386
00:21:03,803 --> 00:21:06,105
I mean, I don't even think
he knew what Florida was.

387
00:21:06,105 --> 00:21:07,740
- Right.
- 'Cause back then,

388
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:10,643
people couldn't
just hop on a plane.

389
00:21:10,643 --> 00:21:13,780
So my point is, here,

390
00:21:13,780 --> 00:21:15,547
that this is gonna
be a real fun movie.

391
00:21:15,547 --> 00:21:17,249
This is gonna be really fun.

392
00:21:17,249 --> 00:21:22,021
But don't you wanna honor us?

393
00:21:22,021 --> 00:21:26,325
Like, we really were
real people.

394
00:21:26,325 --> 00:21:27,794
That's the thing.

395
00:21:27,794 --> 00:21:30,697
You're too close to this.

396
00:21:30,697 --> 00:21:32,431
I knew you would be too close,

397
00:21:32,431 --> 00:21:35,602
and I told people
that you would be too close.

398
00:21:35,602 --> 00:21:37,136
But no one listens to women.

399
00:21:37,136 --> 00:21:39,305
Fucking stuck with this one.

400
00:21:42,341 --> 00:21:43,409
Hello?

401
00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:53,052
Babe, you need
to figure this out.

402
00:21:53,052 --> 00:21:56,322
I'm trying.

403
00:21:56,322 --> 00:21:58,190
No, I get it, but you know,
you made it this far.

404
00:21:58,190 --> 00:22:00,392
Just need to make it
a little bit farther.

405
00:22:00,392 --> 00:22:03,162
- I don't know what else to do.
- Where is everyone?

406
00:22:03,162 --> 00:22:05,564
Where is everyone?
Dory needs help, okay?

407
00:22:05,564 --> 00:22:07,299
This is the
"Dory Needs Help" show,

408
00:22:07,299 --> 00:22:10,069
and the first caller in
gets to help Dory.

409
00:22:10,069 --> 00:22:12,805
Hello?

410
00:22:12,805 --> 00:22:14,506
Okay, what we need
is survival skills.

411
00:22:14,506 --> 00:22:16,308
What if we just follow
the Big Dipper,

412
00:22:16,308 --> 00:22:18,277
and, you know, eventually
we'll hit a bodega!

413
00:22:18,277 --> 00:22:19,145
I don't know!

414
00:22:19,145 --> 00:22:20,813
Oh, no, she's cold as ice.

415
00:22:20,813 --> 00:22:22,148
And this is no joke.

416
00:22:22,148 --> 00:22:23,449
She could freeze to death
in the night.

417
00:22:23,449 --> 00:22:25,952
- That feels nice.
- Oh, Dor.

418
00:22:25,952 --> 00:22:27,754
You look really pretty.

419
00:22:27,754 --> 00:22:29,255
You look really good,

420
00:22:29,255 --> 00:22:31,691
but you gotta start dressing
for the weather, okay?

421
00:22:35,294 --> 00:22:37,930
Dory, look.
Look!

422
00:22:37,930 --> 00:22:41,334
A light.

423
00:22:48,041 --> 00:22:50,143
Oh, yeah.

424
00:22:51,844 --> 00:22:54,881
Hey, hey!

425
00:22:54,881 --> 00:22:59,585
Wait!
Wait, wait, stop!

426
00:23:03,756 --> 00:23:06,358
Thank you.
Thank you.

427
00:23:14,433 --> 00:23:18,237
Oh, look.
A winter angel!

428
00:23:18,237 --> 00:23:21,407
You know, you real lucky
that I came on this road.

429
00:23:21,407 --> 00:23:23,275
I normally don't come here
at night.

430
00:23:23,275 --> 00:23:26,212
I get too scared of the way
the branches look.

431
00:23:26,212 --> 00:23:28,648
- Can I use your phone?
- Phone?

432
00:23:28,648 --> 00:23:29,982
God, ah.

433
00:23:29,982 --> 00:23:31,718
Mobile phones
rot the baby maker.

434
00:23:31,718 --> 00:23:34,586
I wanna make sure
that I can have another child.

435
00:23:34,586 --> 00:23:37,256
You know, a man can
have a child at any age.

436
00:23:37,256 --> 00:23:41,093
Can you drop me off
at the police station then?

437
00:23:41,093 --> 00:23:42,629
I sure can.

438
00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:44,263
I think it's on the way
to my daughter's house.

439
00:23:44,263 --> 00:23:47,934
We're having a white elephant. Yeah.

440
00:23:47,934 --> 00:23:50,703
Yeah, and you don't wanna
be there without a present.

441
00:23:52,171 --> 00:23:54,406
You know,
it's something peculiar,

442
00:23:54,406 --> 00:23:58,811
you look real familiar to me.

443
00:23:58,811 --> 00:24:00,713
Do I?

444
00:24:00,713 --> 00:24:04,417
You ever been a contestant
on "Deal or No Deal"?

445
00:24:05,718 --> 00:24:07,053
No.

446
00:24:07,053 --> 00:24:10,222
I love it.
Eat it with a spoon.

447
00:24:10,222 --> 00:24:14,727
But if it's that's not it...

448
00:24:14,727 --> 00:24:16,328
Sir, sir?

449
00:24:16,328 --> 00:24:18,130
Can you keep your eyes
on the road, please?

450
00:24:18,130 --> 00:24:19,966
I--I knew you were innocent!

451
00:24:19,966 --> 00:24:21,167
I knew you weren't guilty!

452
00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:23,135
I knew it!
- Sir!

453
00:24:23,135 --> 00:24:25,437
- I knew it, I told everyone!
- Sir, please!

454
00:24:25,437 --> 00:24:27,506
Sir, please!
Keep your eyes on the road!

455
00:24:57,303 --> 00:24:59,205
Is that my sweater?

456
00:25:05,945 --> 00:25:08,481
What?

457
00:25:11,184 --> 00:25:12,484
Here he comes!

458
00:25:13,820 --> 00:25:15,554
- Love you!
- Elliott!

459
00:25:17,556 --> 00:25:19,792
Hi!

460
00:25:21,193 --> 00:25:23,963
My fans, my beautiful fans!

461
00:25:23,963 --> 00:25:26,298
Hi. Hi. Mwah.

462
00:25:26,298 --> 00:25:28,901
- Would you sign...
- Oh, sure, of course.

463
00:25:28,901 --> 00:25:30,402
- Hey, big girl.
- Yeah?

464
00:25:30,402 --> 00:25:33,105
Oh, my God.
Excuse you?

465
00:25:33,105 --> 00:25:34,641
You little enemy of Dorothy.

466
00:25:34,641 --> 00:25:36,475
We had three cancellations
this morning.

467
00:25:36,475 --> 00:25:38,611
Well, congratulations.
To them!

468
00:25:39,646 --> 00:25:40,980
Okay, can my fans
arrest these people?

469
00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:42,114
Thank you.
- No, no, no, no.

470
00:25:42,114 --> 00:25:43,382
You need to issue a retraction,

471
00:25:43,382 --> 00:25:44,717
or we're gonna sue you
for libel.

472
00:25:44,717 --> 00:25:47,219
Nobody died at your
stupid wedding!

473
00:25:47,219 --> 00:25:49,255
Oh, please,
you know very well

474
00:25:49,255 --> 00:25:51,323
that a twink died
on your watch, okay?

475
00:25:51,323 --> 00:25:53,525
And that's the only reason
my fiancé left me, by the way.

476
00:25:53,525 --> 00:25:55,261
- No, that twink did not die!
- It is.

477
00:25:55,261 --> 00:25:57,563
He is still alive,
and he didn't even work for us.

478
00:25:57,563 --> 00:25:59,999
He faked everything.
- What?

479
00:25:59,999 --> 00:26:01,567
You will die an old maid!

480
00:26:01,567 --> 00:26:03,703
Oh, eat my ass!

481
00:27:14,773 --> 00:27:17,209
<i>♪ The chills that you
spill up my back ♪</i>

482
00:27:17,209 --> 00:27:20,379
<i>♪ Keep me filled with
satisfaction when we're done ♪</i>

483
00:27:20,379 --> 00:27:23,215
<i>♪ Satisfaction
of what's to come ♪</i>

484
00:27:23,215 --> 00:27:26,585
<i>♪ I couldn't ask for another ♪</i>

485
00:27:26,585 --> 00:27:29,121
<i>♪ No, I couldn't ask
for another ♪</i>

486
00:27:29,121 --> 00:27:31,190
<i>♪ You know that's right ♪</i>

487
00:27:31,190 --> 00:27:35,228
Well, looks like
you need my help.

488
00:27:36,062 --> 00:27:38,530
<i>♪ I look for signs ♪</i>

489
00:27:38,530 --> 00:27:44,503
<i>♪ Get lost in the noise of the
words that don't mean much ♪</i>

490
00:27:44,503 --> 00:27:47,473
<i>♪ I'll be defiant ♪</i>

491
00:27:47,473 --> 00:27:49,541
<i>♪ The one that
could change us ♪</i>

492
00:27:49,541 --> 00:27:53,479
<i>♪ I'll give you
the same love ♪</i>

493
00:27:53,479 --> 00:27:55,481
<i>♪ I darling, darling,
don't know ♪</i>

494
00:27:55,481 --> 00:27:57,617
<i>♪ How fame, faith,
and the fallout ♪</i>

495
00:27:57,617 --> 00:28:01,854
<i>♪ Time's up,
times are getting loud ♪</i>

496
00:28:01,854 --> 00:28:04,023
<i>♪ I darling, darling,
don't know ♪</i>

497
00:28:04,023 --> 00:28:06,392
<i>♪ How fame, faith,
and the fallout ♪</i>

498
00:28:06,392 --> 00:28:11,030
<i>♪ Time's up,
times are getting loud ♪</i>

499
00:28:11,030 --> 00:28:12,799
<i>♪ Every move I make ♪</i>

500
00:28:12,799 --> 00:28:15,201
<i>♪ I make with no mistake ♪</i>

501
00:28:15,201 --> 00:28:17,703
<i>♪ See, I know my heart ♪</i>